Conflicted Emotions
by Servala
Summary: 2079 Lady Benezia retires from her position in the Council and she sold the Matriarchy in Thessia her young (500 )Assistant Tevos as the follower. Tevos want to do that, it s her life long dream, but that has a price. An Asari representative cannot be in a relationship with another Asari


"Ah Tevos there you are, come in." The Asari with green, bright eyes and white drawings on her blue but also purple shimmering skin walked a little hesitantly into the large office, in one of the most respected buildings Armalis. It was the seat of the government of the Great Council, where all the important - and less important - decisions related to the Asari were made behind antique marble. Tevos loved every inch of the building. The fountain in the foyer, the large marble columns from the silver stone, that only came from a few areas on Thessia.

She had only been on very rare occasions in so high up in this office. When she approached the dignified Matriarch in front of her, she put one hand over her heart and bowed. She was nervous. Lady Benezia, her current supervisor and mentor was also present and wouldn´t she have a friendly smile on her face, Tevos would have been terribly frightened.

"Matriarch Asteria, you have summoned me?" The old Asari in the brown-yellow dress laughed warmly. Her eyes shone in such a bright brown that they were almost yellow. She turned her head to Benezia, so that the drawing on her cheekbones, two interlocking white stars, were visible. "Her manners are flawless without any doubt." Benezia just nodded. Her pale blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

Tevos looked back and forth between the two, and her heart beat quickened.

"Tevos what we are telling you now is not yet known to the public." She nodded as she understood that she had to keep silent. "The seat in the Citadel Council is becoming vacant."

Tevos flinched and her eyes met Lady Benezias. She even opened her mouth to say something, but she simply couldn´t and ran nervously with the tip of her tongue over her lower lip.

"My daughter needs all my attention at the moment. It is a relatively quiet period in the intergalactic politics. Now a change to someone new would run most smoothly." Benezia guessed her thoughts.

"We have convened a meeting and have decided unanimously for one person. Something that think I never happened in history," added the Matriarch with a smile, but still a little thoughtful. Benezia nodded in agreement. "But you were sold to us like as a racing Varren to a Krogan warlord."

Tevos just stared at the Matriarch that seemed to really enjoy this, but slowly the words seeped into her brain. "Me?", she asked scared, but also excited.

"Yes, Benezia thinks that of all the nine billion Asari only you are able to present ourselves to the outside and your achievements speak for themselves. Of course you would have to put yourself in two years for the election, but I doubt that - if you continue like this – there will be any problem. You are still too young, but it will be a good signal to our people. A young Councillor representing us to the outside and will bring the wind of change. You can not say no, not after all Matriarchs have actually agreed."

Tevos was surprised and couldn´t prevent the outbreak: "Even my mother?" Her mother, whom she loved dearly, on the one hand, was the main rival of Benezia. Plus she didn´t like Tevos´ way of life. This meant nothing other than that her mother didn´t approve that her daughter was only interested in another Asari and in a long time relationship with one. Her mother was strongly against sexual relationships among their species.

"Yes, of course." Benezia confirmed with a knowing smile and Tevos suspected it that it was the honor that her daughter was on the way to become the youngest Councillor in Asari history.

The old matriarch walked around her desk. "Benezia, would you leave us alone?"

The current Councillor nodded, bowed, and then went with the elegant steps past Tevos to the exit. Asteria waited until the solid light brown wooden door closed with a faint noise behind her and her her expression turned into a more serious one. "There is only one thing which you must consider before making your decision." She went to one of the sofas which where located on the wall with a large picture of a statue of Athame and sat down. Since she did not invite Tevos to do it after her, she stood at a respectful distance.

"For me personally it does not matter who you are dating. I myself was together with Asari and Turian and bonded a short time with a Salarian." She closed her eyes and a wistful smile played on her lips. "But you know the public opinion. Luckily you and your partner have not bound wrists. This would have been a unnecessary complication. "

* * *

"Tevos I'll give you a piece of advice, try to be more relaxed in dealing with children. It would not be good press photo, when you look like a scared T'Drall in front of a hunter." Benezia laughed as she thought of the little fluffy fur animals from Thessia and slid deep into the black upholstery of the passenger ship to the Citadel.

Tevos would like to say some replies, but a very enthusiastic little Asari held onto her face, who slapped on each one of her white marks with her right hand while her left hand clung to Tevos lower lip.

Benezia did not save her from her daughter and so could Tevos only try to get out of Liara's small hands on her own. She managed it after some effort and Benezia gave her a proud look as she also managed to turn around the small Asari on her lap and secured her with one hand.

"Give her this" Tevos took the bottle that Benezia let float her by a biotic sway and immediately it got the attention of the child. Liara grabbed it and relieved her of the bottle with more force than Tevos had expected. "Barely two and already so independent.", Benezia laughed and smiled.

"Do you find it hard to give it all up?" Tevos looked at her, but the older Asari shook her head.

"I thought I could handle it, but no. I have chosen for other plans. The seat in the Council barely leaves room for a partner or a daughter. I will however miss the Citadel…"

Tevos followed her gaze out the window of the ship and the giant station appeared in front of them. The arms of the Citadel were spread wide like a flower, and they shone in countless colors. Small ships flew back and forth and a large warship, which was in construction, hung a bit away in space. It was illuminated by the station and looked beautiful in its form.

"The Destiny Ascension" said Benezia. "Too big to be built in a conventional hangar." Tevos stared speechless at the gigantic ship. "When it's finished it will provide space for a ten thousand strong crew of Asari and lead the defense of the Citadel fleet. You should have a chat with Matriarch Lidanya and make yourself well with her. It is her ship and you will be working closely together in the future. Just take care that it is not too tight, she is also a blue tongue and as I know her you'll hardly will get her hands of you."

* * *

Even years later would Tevos remember this first time when she did not enter the Citadel as a simple visitor or assistant, but as the designated Asari Councillor. All of the employees in the embassy were prepared for the change on the following day and the views she got from the other Asari were different. She saw envy, but most of them were happy and congratulated.

She followed Benezia in the Embassy. The personal property of the Matriarch was already gone, but not all. "I want to make you a present." Benezia let her daughter on the floor and then closed with a flare up of her biotics the door to the balcony. Liara crawled to the sofa and got up. The view of her mother couldn´t have been more proud and Tevos could also not resist the charm of the child.

"I know you admire the artist Laserva of Thessia and the image of the skyline of Armali is, as you know, from her. I give it to you together with this, a list of trusted people you can contact in case of problems. C-Sec, reporters, Asari commandos ..."

Tevos shook her head. "No, I do not accept your refusal and as much as I cling to that image, it´s place is here with you." Benezia said and hugged Tevos who blushed.

"Thank you!" she said quickly. "And now let us see how the desk suits you ... sit down!" Benezia ordered and Tevos hesitated for a moment, but then her feet carried her around the desk. She pulled the chair and sat down, sliding slowly towards the edge of the table and her hands glided over the smooth surface. Her eyes fell on the picture against the wall and she felt as if she had just arrived.

* * *

"Good morning," Tevos smile slipped into a pleasant moaning when soft, warm lips pressed on hers and then she wrapped her forearms around Tela Vasir's neck. Her fingers slid between the tentacles and she enjoyed the familiarity. She and the other Asari who worked as a Spectre for the Citadel Council, were a couple for more than a century. There had been repeated phases in which they had separated because Vasir had a hot temper, but Tevos felt a pang as she thought of what she would be doing later this day.

She looked into this brown eyes which sparkled with affection like liquid honey, then continued to caress the familiar contours and slid her index finger over the purple stripe on Tela´s forehead.

_"End it", she heard the voice of Matriarch Asteria. "If they have not proposed by now, it is not the right Asari anyway. You need to decide. You can achieve great goals for our people, or work as an assistant for the forthcoming Councillor. In both, you will be outstanding, but I think you would waste your talents in the shadow of another."_

Tevos loved the other Asari in her arms so much that it tore her heart to think of her alone, but there was one thing she loved even more: to serve in the policy and the desire of her people. She had not expected before the next one to two centuries to got in this situation, but now that the opportunity as near, she would not let go.

"So thoughtful?" Tevos felt the worry and some tears threatened to erupt behind her eyelids. Tela kissed her very softly on her cheeks, and she decided to wait a few hours. She knew it was selfish, but she needed these last hours. She led Tela into another longing kiss, this time from the despair that threatened to overwhelm her.

* * *

Tevos still wore the Councillor robe as she stood in the evening on the large window of her new, but still empty apartments. She was overwhelmed by the engagement. The mass of the Asari took her appointment gladly. Of course there were also some voices who wanted an earlier election, but these were silenced by the majority.

Tevos looked down at her hands, then she put them on her back and smiled at herself in the reflection in the window. This had been the most wonderful day in her life. The highlight of her career. Even her mother had sent her a congratulation message and informed her that she was very proud of her daughter. Tevos bathed in a wave of enthusiasm and with every fiber of herself, she felt the joy of achievement.

But it was also the saddest day so far. Before Tela she never had a long-term relationship and what she would be doing let her heart burst into pain of grief. But she had decided and she did not regret her choice. As a Councillor she could do so much for her people. The hope of something new was clearly resonated and she wanted it so much, but this decision had a price.

She looked in the mirror to Tela, as they slowly came closer. On the Citadel, she rarely wore her combat uniform, but she also wore rare typical Asari clothes. That evening she had decided for a black pants and a sweater with a high collar. Clothing made for humans, but it suited her perfectly. Tevos tightened imperceptible and immediately she saw Tela frown. They knew each other so well.

"Councillor," she was greeted by the other Asari with a slight smile, but also a thoughtful expression in her eyes. "You wanted to talk? Why so formal?" Vasir crossed her arms and shifted her weight to the left leg.

Tevos swallowed. "Yes. Shall we sit down?"

Tela narrowed her eyes. "No. I think I'd rather stand." Tevos indicated a nod and straightened a little more. "I've been thinking about us."

Tela rolled his eyes and looked up. "I can not believe it, not after all this time?" She closed her eyes and waited.

"Yes. You know that our positions have changed and as a Councillor I can not be romantically involved with a Spectre. It would look like favoritism if ... " She stopped when she tasted the electricity in the air and looked to Tela those biotic flashed around her wrists.

"Bullshit," she thundered. "It is a matter that I am a Asari. That was the price?" Tevos looked away. "Tela, I love you, but ..." she felt how the other Asari came closer and admitted that she cupped her chin and turned her head.

"This sentence should not involve a 'but'." Tevos lowered her eyes. "After all we've been through, you sell us for a position …"

Tevos breath escaped trembling. "It is not just a position, it is my life's dream. If we were bound …"

Tela let go of her chin and narrowed her eyes again. "Then I would have probably already received the divorce papers." Her voice was cold as ice. Then she took something out of her pocket, grabbed Tevos right hand and gave her two bonding ribbons. "But I'm glad I waited until after the ceremony." She turned around and went fast to the door. "I know as a Councillor you are now my superior, but it would be good for the both of us if you did not contact me."

Tevos felt the burn of tears in her eyes and did not answer, she did not dare to bring forth a sound.

"I wish you a good night, Councillor."

She went and left Tevos back with the biting cold of her voice. Tevos opened her hand and stared at the two, interwoven ribbons. For a moment, everything screamed in her to run after Tela. She was now the Councillor, it did not matter now. Without a scandal they could not replace her for two years.

But she just opened her palm and watched as the ribbons slowly fell to the ground. She was willing to pay the price, because she had arrived. She was the Asari Councillor and she would never forget Benezias words: there would be no time for children or a bondmate as a Councillor. But she was young and after a few decades she would be - like Benezia - beyond reproach. Then no one would care with whom she bonded and who her childrens father would be.

And maybe Tela Vasir would wait for Tevos, as she would wait for her.

~ the end ~


End file.
